Insomnie
an album by Moon Bride
Lyrics
-
Dear Diary
Today I stopped at a shop
I’m so angry
Next time I’ll wait for prime-rate
Late delivery
It’s triggering fits to recall
I followed all the painted arrows
I was completely six-feet sterile
Except for once
Cause the aisle was narrow
A mother bear with her cub
Glared at me appalled
Everybody thinks they’re a saint
Everybody thinks they’re in the right
I can’t compete, can’t complain
I’m just trying to sleep at night
In my PJs
I keep drafting an update to back-space
Never safe to engage in the first place
Why would anybody try?
In my room, all alone, I hear them
They accuse me of suffering delirium
I have done nothing wrong
Yet I fear them
So I shutter the blinds
And allow my phone to die
Everybody thinks they’re a saint
Everybody thinks they’re in the right
I can’t compete, can’t complain
I’m just trying to sleep at night
Awake or woke
It’s not a joke
You gotta be fast
React to all the facts
Keeping two fingers crossed
Behind your back
For all to see
You gotta be an insomniac
Claim you’re not religious
Blame it on the bigots
Stand up, but don’t stand out
Take a little stance
But baby, don’t get canceled
Leave no trace
Relieve no doubts
Rise up, rise up
Why are you sleeping?
Rise up, rise up
Why are you sleeping?
Rise up, rise up
Why are you sleeping?
Rise up, rise up
Why are you sleeping?
-
Nobody knows when you’re hurting
Nobody knows when you’re scared
Nobody knows the dreams that you dream
Until somebody hears your prayer
-
Night calls and the baby’s crying
Pratfalls, why do I keep trying?
Been leaning on my own shoulder
I’ll tell you when you’re older
Keep calm and carry on
So much easier said than done
When you don’t know
You don’t know
Nobody knows
Ohh, nobody knows
So maybe it’s time we cut our losses
Moving our mouths, but no one’s talking any sense
You want to know, but you don’t really
And if I told you’d think me silly
So why don’t we
Go separately
Into the
Night calls and the baby’s crying
Pratfalls, why do I keep trying?
Been leaning on my own shoulder
You’ll thank me when you’re older
Keep calm and carry on
So much easier said than done
When you don’t know
You don’t know
Nobody knows
Ohh, nobody knows
Why do I tell you all the things that I’m not
Before I get out a single thought?
Spend all my energy
Convincing you and me
I’m not your enemy
And keep calm and carry on
So much easier said than done
When you don’t know
You don’t know
Keep calm and carry on
So much easier said than done
When you don’t know
You don’t know
Nobody knows
Ohh, nobody knows
Ohh, nobody knows
-
Why you treat me like a second class citizen?
If you knew me I think you’d think I’m innocent
Try and prove me wrong
Come on and prove me wrong
For someone so antiwar, you’re awfully militant
You always seem so sure until the millionth
Straw comes falling down
Straw comes falling down
I get weary
My eyes get bleary
With every part of my being
Resisting the fear
If you can hear my prayer (my prayer)
There must be someone out there
Out there somewhere
Ba-ba, Ba-da-da-da-ba
Ba-ba, Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da
Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da
I walked into my salvation
I died a hundred times
It hasn’t been a vacation
But what do you know about dying?
And what do you know about time?
I get weary (Why you treat me like a)
My eyes get bleary (Second class citizen?)
With every part of my being (If you knew me)
Resisting the fear (I think you’d think I’m innocent)
If you can hear my prayer (Try and prove me wrong)
There must be someone out there (Come on and prove me)
Out there somewhere (Wrong)
Ba-ba, Ba-da-da-da-ba
Ba-ba, Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da
Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da
-
I walked so far to get away from all the noise
I packed my car full to the brim with all my toys
And finally, nothing but the rush of wind
The story in the sky
I closed my eyes
But all I could see was Wile E. Coyote jumping off a cliff
And all I could hear were the greatest hits from 1996
And all I could think was
How hard it is to start a friendship in your thirties
And how
We’re always working for money so we can buy time
But even when we get the stuff
Don’t you know it’s never enough
Never enough never enough
To make it last
I had to leave just to return another day
I tried believing I’d return a different way
And suddenly
I could see a woman I had never seen before
She closed the door
Then alI I could see was a 7th grader standing in the mirror
And all I could hear was the sound of chariots getting near
And all I could think was
How hard it is to start a friendship in your thirties
And how
We’re always working for money so we can buy time
But even when we get the stuff
Don’t you know it’s never enough
It’s never enough, never enough
Never enough, never enough
Never enough, never enough
To change the past
It’s alright, it’s alright
Don’t stop now
It’s alright
It’s alright, it’s alright
Don’t stop now
It’s alright
It’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright
-
I want to be carefree
I want to change my fate
I want to rewind time
But I fear it’s too late
I want to learn to laugh
With abandon
Give me a polygraph
And I’ll paint your picture
Why’d you have to ask me
What I wanted to be?
Couldn’t you just let me breathe?
Nothing good comes easily
Nothing good comes easily
Nothing good comes easily
Nothing good comes easily
What a luxury not to know
To give a gift
And have it be received
I can’t sleep at night
Without these same old dreams
Call me uptight
But it’s a cruel joke
Living in the inbetween
Why’d you have to ask me
What I wanted to be?
Couldn’t you just let me breathe?
If getting a degree
Would make me happy, set me free
Honey, what a luxury
Nothing good comes easily
Nothing good comes easily
Nothing good comes easily
Nothing good comes easily
When the light shines down on me
Will it break the fantasy?
No more unrequited dreams
No more misdirected pleas
Nothing good comes easily
Nothing good comes easily
Nothing good comes easily
No, no, no, no
Nothing good comes easily
-
I may sound whiny cause I am
And I feel tiny as a clam
Mama said the world’s my oyster
In the midst of all the noise
Her words have never seemed so distant
This is not where I thought I’d be by now
I want to be famous
I want to live off the grid
I want to travel the world
I want a house full of kids
I want to become vegan
I want to take up hunting
I want I want I want I want
I want to stop wanting
Ba-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da
Ba-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da
Everyone around me seems to know
We’re on some hidden camera show
Are you happy clocking in?
Was that parking space a win?
Lucky is the man who knows his song
Before he even starts singing
I want to be humble
I want to make lots of money
I want to be taken seriously
I want to be funny
I want to just do nothing
And be known for something
I want I want I want I want
I want to stop wanting
Do I disappoint you?
Do I make you proud?
If you had the choice
Would you still want me around?
See, I’m still not sure what life is all about
If we give up trying does it make a sound?
Am I almost there or did I pass my prime?
In this endeavor will there ever be a finish line?
How am I still asking after all this time?
In this endeavor will there ever be a finish line?
Do I disappoint you?
Do I make you proud?
If you had the choice would you still want me around?
See, I’m still not sure what living’s all about
If we give up trying, does it make a sound?
Am I almost there or (Ba-da-da-da)
Did I pass my prime? (Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da)
In this endeavor will there ever be a finish line? (Da-da-da-da-da-da)
How am I still asking (Ba-da-da-da)
After all this time? (Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da)
How am I still asking after all this time? (Da-da-da-da-da-da)
-
Sometimes my brain’s like a broken record
Skipping the parts that make it sound better
Idling lonely, only slightly out of key
Take a hot shower
Bow to the coffee
“Own your own power”
Blares from the pulpit we call TV
And that’s why
I can’t hear you when I close my eyes
All I can hear are the sounds of whirring machines
Take me away to the paradise beyond the screens
Passing cars are the poor man’s ocean
Reminds me of summer and suntan lotion
What I wouldn’t give to go back to that place
Hands on the wheel
Tune out the chatter
Try not to feel
Hold on for Saturday
And that’s why
I can’t hear you when I close my eyes
All I can hear are the sounds of warring machines
Take me away to the paradise beyond the screens
So I’m sitting here thinking of you
And 1500 other things to do
And I know that’s why
You’ve just become one of them
So I start to make a new choice
And my heart remembers your voice
Quiet as a hum
I know you’re close when you feel so far away
I know you’re close (I know you’re close)
When you feel so far away
I know you’re close (I know you’re close)
When you feel so far away
I know you’re close (I know you’re close)
When you feel so far away
I know you’re close when you feel so far away
-
Free my mind
It’s hard to find
The way among the imitations
Searching for the only door
But I got lost
Cause I’m impatient
And now I know I need you
Truth is I always knew
But I wanted to see if I could do it on my own
Before I let you lead me
And you let me
Knock, knock, knocking on exits
Walk, walking back to the starting line
Knock, knocking on exits
Talk, talk, talking like I’m running out of time
In between the shifting scenes
You’ll catch a glimpse of Clarity
She wears a suit and plays the flute
And disappeared while
You were busy brooding
And now I know I need you
Truth is I always do
Knock, knock, knocking on exits
Walk, walk, walking back to the starting line
Knock, knocking on exits
Talk, talk, talking like I’ve lost my mind
I need your compass
I need your light
I need direction
I need your counsel
I need a sign
Cause I can’t do this
Alone
Knock, knocking on exits
Walk, walk, walking back to the starting line
Knock, knocking on exits (Knocking on exits)
Talk, talking like I’m running out of time
Knock, knock, knocking on exits (I’m running out)
(I’m running out)
Walk, walk, walking back to the starting line
Knock, knocking on exits (Knock, knocking on exits)
Talk, talk, talking like I’ve lost
My mind
-
It’s not right to look inside one’s head for too long
You can get lost in tiny thoughts
And no one knows where you’ve gone
If you’re not in the mood for gratitude
Then I can’t help you
So many of us would rather live a lie
Than die in truth
So go outside and breathe the air
Don’t be scared to stop and stare
Stay a while and be a child of God
Climb a mountain or go fishing
The heart beats without your permission
We’re only here to be conduits of love
Ohh-ohh-ohh
Ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh
Spent all night trying to purge my mind
Of things from my past
When you live in photographs, you get nowhere fast
And worry’s like sitting in your living room
In a rocking chair
It’ll give you something to do
But it won’t get you anywhere
So go outside and breathe the air
Don’t be scared to stop and stare
Stay awhile and be a child of God
Climb a mountain or go fishing
The heart beats without your permission
We’re only here to be conduits of love
Ohh-ohh-ohh
Ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh
And it’s not good to spend too much time on the internet
Humans weren’t created to be baited all day into guilt and regret
Entertained by other people’s pain till I can’t even feel
I look out the window and ask myself is this even real?
Then I got outside and breathe the air
Knowing there’s a rainbow somewhere
Even if I can’t see it with my own eyes
Smell the flowers
Smile at my neighbor
Write a song with pen and paper
Marvel at the magnitude of the skies
Go outside and breathe the air
It’s ok to stop and stare
Stay awhile and be a child of God
Climb a mountain or go fishing
The heart beats without your permission
We’re only here to be conduits of love
Ohh-ohh-ohh
Ohh-ohh-ohh
Ohh-ohh-ohh
Ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh
-
I don’t like the way you pour your coffee
I don’t like the way you draw your blinds
I don’t want to say that we stop talking
And I don’t want to talk all of the time
And if I’m falling from grace
At least I’m falling in your embrace
I can’t recall a time I didn’t wake
Up in the morning just to see your face
I don’t like you, I love you
It’s never the other way around
I don’t hate you I just want to
Shake you till the walls come crashing down
And if I’m falling from grace
At least I’m falling in your embrace
And at the end of the longest day
You’re still the last song on my record, babe
It’s hard to be alone in the world
I would never choose that fate
It’s hard to be with me but see
It’s the easiest choice to make
It’s the easiest choice to make
To Make
To Make
And if I’m falling from grace
At least I’m falling in your embrace
I can’t recall a time I didn’t wake
Up in the morning just to see your face
And at the end of the longest day
You’re still the last song on my record, babe
You’re still the last song on my record, babe
Album Credits
Music by Carly Kotula
Lyrics by Carly Kotula and Michael Minkoff (Why Are You Sleeping?)
Produced by James S. Smith and Michael Minkoff
Composition and Orchestral Arrangements by Phil Hodges
Executive Produced by Charlie Mudge and Carly Kotula
Recorded, Engineered and Mixed by James S. Smith and Michael Minkoff
at Clubmen Studio in Blairsville, GA
Photography and visual concept by Pat Kotula
CD layout and design by Carly Kotula
Mastered by Matthew Barnhart at Chicago Mastering
Additional lyric consulting by Michael Minkoff and Jo Littin
Copyright Moon Bride 2023
Why Are You Sleeping?
Carly Kotula: vocals
Phil Hodges: piano
Michael Minkoff: drums and percussion
James S. Smith: electric guitar
Matt Combs: strings
Meredith Moore: French horns
Peter Martin: trumpets
Adam Higgins: bass guitar
Nobody Knows
Carly Kotula: vocals
Phil Hodges: piano, keys
Keep Calm and Carry On
Carly Kotula: vocals
Phil Hodges: keys, acoustic guitar
Michael Minkoff: drums, percussion
James S. Smith: synths, electric guitar
Adam Higgins: bass guitar, organ
Patrick Smith: electric guitar
“The Dying Pigeons” (Adeline Scully, Amity Minkoff, Sari Smith, Selah Minkoff): vocal
Prove Me Wrong
Carly Kotula: vocals
Phil Hodges: bass guitar, electric guitar
Michael Minkoff: drums, percussion, bass guitar
James S. Smith: synths, drum programming
In Your Thirties
Carly Kotula: vocals
Phil Hodges: piano, acoustic guitar
Michael Minkoff: drums, percussion
James S. Smith: synths, keys, drum programming
Adam Higgins: bass guitar, organ
Nothing Good (Comes Easily)
Carly Kotula: vocals
Phil Hodges: piano
Michael Minkoff: drums, percussion
James S. Smith: electric guitar, keys, synths, drum programming
Tony Ford: bass guitar
Stop Wanting
Carly Kotula: vocals
Phil Hodges: acoustic and electric guitars
Michael Minkoff: drums, percussion
James S. Smith: synths
Ryan Cross: pedal steel
Adam Higgins: bass guitar, keys, organ
I Stay Up All Night
Carly Kotula: acoustic guitar, vocals
That’s Why
Carly Kotula: vocals
Phil Hodges: piano
Michael Minkoff: drums, percussion
Patrick Smith: backing vocals
Adam Higgins: upright bass
Matt Combs: strings
Knocking on Exits (feat. Stephanie Morgan)
Carly Kotula: vocals
Stephanie Morgan: vocals
Phil Hodges: piano
Michael Minkoff: drums, percussion
James S. Smith: synths, drum programming, omnichord
Matt Combs: strings
Adam Higgins: bass guitar
Conduits
Carly Kotula: vocals
Phil Hodges: guitars, piano
Matt Combs: strings
Adam Higgins: upright bass
Michael Minkoff: drums, percussion
Elijah Stout Flinn: flutes
The Last Song on My Record (feat. Wilder Adkins)
Carly Kotula: vocals
Wilder Adkins: vocals
Phil Hodges: piano
Ryan Cross: pedal steel
Adam Higgins: upright bass
James S. Smith: guitars
Michael Minkoff: drums, percussion